Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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