I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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