so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
