Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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