Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
