GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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