4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
