What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
