so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
