I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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