U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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