a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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