i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
