As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
