you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The air taste purple.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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