Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
