Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
