I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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