I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize