Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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