i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
