I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
