im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
