Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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