So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
