I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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