Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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