Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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