I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My ass is underappreciated
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
