Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize