I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
