I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize