Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
