I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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