this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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