Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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