Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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