You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
