drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
