Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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