Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
