Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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