I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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