I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
