i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
