I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
