I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
