Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
