mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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