i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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