ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
