You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
