is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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