i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
