This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it because I queefed?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
