You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
