You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
