Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
