if you like me you must not know who I am
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Boobs speak an international language.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
